I remember it like it was yesterday.. 12 years ago I had met Anna, my wife. She was very nervous because she didn't know how I would react to her 2 year old, Ashley. I arrived at Anna's apartment and Ashley and I looked at each other.. She reached out for me and I can remember Anna being completely dumbfounded.. She had never reached out to a stranger like that before Anna said. That was the day I became Ashley's FATHER. Notice how I don't name myself a Step-father, because in my eyes the term has no merit in this situation... I'm not going to bash and completely demean her real father but the man just didn't and still doesn't have a clue on what being a real father is all about.. I can remember Anna crying to me as she told me the things he had done in the past, like making her take Ashley with her in a blinding snowstorm because the "Fake Father" was to busy hanging with his buddies. She had also told me about the repeated attempts his mother had made to get Ashley taken away from her.. Basically it was just a living hell for Anna.
Then, I stepped in... I don't want to sound like a superhero here but when I take somebody in as a friend or as a significant other, NOBODY messes with them.. I won't have people taken advantage of that are important to me in my life. Ashley's fake father and his mother were throwing the kitchen sink at Anna, they betrayed her, labeled her, called child services on her and some other things that I can't even mention in this blog. Then the big one hit, she received a letter to appear in court because she supposedly owed him some money for a Dr. Bill.. Fair enough, Anna DID owe him the money. So we went to court, but we had a plan, and it was from that day on he and his momma learned to NEVER mess with me and Anna again.. I payed the money that was owed to him and then proceeded to nail him with a child support increase Of course we are talking about a man that when the first papers were filed, QUIT his job so he would have to pay the minimum support amount of 35 bucks a week. Yeah, that really helps alot. Anna could have bought some real keen DIAPERS with that.... Flash forward to Court. I remember the look we both exchanged with each other in court, we looked like two Boxers about to throw down right there and he knew I had him on the ropes in the 12'th round.. I then just gave him a smirky smile, he then just turned his head and I think he had realized that he finally met his match.. the end result.. the judge lashed at him for non-communication and he raised his support to 50 bucks a week.. Wow, Now Anna could buy the PREMIUM diapers.
Now MY Ashley is 14 years old.... 14!!! She is beautiful, has tons of friends and has the normal problems that every teenager has.. I couldn't be prouder. :) She comes to me if she needs "boy" advice.. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.. But you know what? It makes me just feel... feel.... I can't describe the feeling other than, GOOD, that she comes to me and not to the fake father. But I have to admit, when she goes to his house I feel a sense of loss.. God please forgive me but I want her all to myself, and I know that is wrong but I have also realized I'm going to have to deal with him for her entire life, so it helps me deal with it a little better..
Now unfortunately he has shown his true colors again... Ashley had to get braces, there was no maybe, she HAD to have them. He knew it MANY months in advance and guess who ended up footing the bill? That's right.. Us.. he owes us over 1,000 dollars and it burns my hide that I am going to be forced to walk him into court to make him pay us.. It's not fair to MY daughter, but with this whole situation I think she finally learned about what type of Man he truly is. She really got upset with him for not paying his share, and I hate myself for this, but it made me feel good that she was mad at him... He isn't a father, he just wants her for the good times and doesn't want to foot the bill for when the bad times arise..... That, my friends, isn't a Father.. That is a STEPFATHER...:) Much love to all of the Dad's out there that take care of their responsibility's.. Whether it be to your own biological children, or non-biological.. Love is the only constant that keeps our Fatherly roots fed. :) Until next time... Ciao
Matt
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